


Testing Dreams

by corhahale



Series: Lonely Burdens [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Nightmares, post 2x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 15:56:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corhahale/pseuds/corhahale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three months after Clarke leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testing Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> God, these fics are hurting me.
> 
> This one is a bit longer than usual and the next one is too I think?

_Remember their pain._

_Remember their disgust._

_Remember your betrayal._

_Remember their hate._

Clarke traced the words into the loose soil. It had become her mantra.

Whenever she saw butterflies, she said her mantra. When she thought she had saw Finn, the words screamed at her. When she dreamt of her father and Wells, Bellamy, Lexa, Maya. She breathed the words to herself, trying to lower her heartbeat and wipe the grime and the cold sweat from herself.

The Grounder villages she passed on her journey knew of her defeat of the Mountain and gifted her with furs and refuge, which she always politely refused. She liked the chill of the night. It reminded her she did have feelings in some ugly way.

Clarke doesn't think she had nightmares.She thinks of them more as tests of her strength.

It always started the same, her father smiling at her from the drop ship offering his hand to her. Then Finn’s is there nodding his head along the path, with that stupid smile he had charmed her with. Lexa was next in her village, with a hint of a smirk. After the passing of the village, Clarke was at the gates of Camp Jaha staring at the welcome arms and smiles beaming from their faces. Bellamy was always the first to get to her and he was the only one who talks to her.

“Please come inside, Clarke. We need you.” And then the dream crashes and burn in front of her. Bellamy would look behind Clarke and shiver, she never wants to look behind her but of course she does and behind her stand those of the dead. Every single one she had killed, the ones dressed in Grounder materials to Atom, with his blistering skin.

She backs away from the dead, only to feel the cold metal plunge into her stomach. The dead stop in their tracks and Clarke rips her body away from the knife, falling to the ground, watching her Mother, Bellamy and Octavia crowd her.

Her mother’s hands are streaked in blood, so are the Blake siblings.

“You want forgiveness but this is the only way you’ll accept it.” She doesn’t know who said the words because her eyes had drooped close and her ears always ring of noises that she could only say, sounded like whirring of machines they used to have on the Ark.

And it always ended with her picking up her things in the morning and hoping one day she’ll be far enough away from those words.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have a clue how many there is going to be in this fic and I don't have a plan. I'm just writing what pops up right now.
> 
> Tumblr - motnymiller


End file.
